10 Tips to Marriage Surviving and Thriving-Tip One

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Ten Tricks are too many to absorb at one time, so here’s one trick for today.

Stay tuned as I unfold the rest of the ten in the coming days.

 Trick Number One: No name calling. 

No name calling no matter how innocuous. There is no right way to call your beloved a name.  There is no voice sweet enough, there is no joke funny enough to warrant calling your loved one “an idiot”, not even “you cute idiot”, definitely not “you dumb dodo bird.”  And, of course, if you curse it’s one thing, but absolutely NO name calling curses.

 My hubby is about as good natured as they come, although you might not know it if you catch him in the middle of a tirade. However, he has his limits and boundaries.  Very early on, he made it perfectly clear that name calling was a Deal Breaker.  And his flashing eyes was his exclamation point.

I came from a family that weren’t big name callers, but an occasion one could be sacrificed on the alter of clever sarcasm. 

Nathan response. NO NO NO NO.  Since it was clearly a deal breaker; I acquiesced.  Best move I ever made. 

 Even the funniest, cutest name that s/he doesn’t mind (or says s/he doesn’t mind) is progressively demoralizing.  And it will show up somewhere/somewhere else, maybe the very first nail your relationship coffin.

 If you have a hard time breaking the habit, I have a suggestion.  Everytime, he hear yourself about to say “you idiot”, change it to “you fabulous person”.  What’s good about this is that it keeps the integrity of your conversation cadence. In other words, you are used to calling him something. Fine. Simply call him something nice. 

Try it. Make it a game. Include him in the game. Include the kids or not.  Anyway you do it, it will work. And then get back to me and let me know your results so I can be happy for you.

 If you are a woman around 30-55, blaming your husband for your unhappiness, but not wanting to divorce—at least not yet, have I got a course for you.  My 3-step Transform your Relationship Experience course starts the first Monday of every month.  To find out details for my next training, click  http://budurl.com/tyret.  Check it out now.

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